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Q: So you just kinda snuck in here. How long have you been working for Z96?
A: Full time? Since August 2004. However, I've been a constant and unnerving prescence here at Cumulus for some time now.
Q: Really? How long a time are we talking?
A: A real, real long time. Almost too long.
Q: Oh, come on. How long exactly?
A: Long enough to remember Hayden actually having hair on his head.
Q: Dang. That's a long time.
A: Yeah, you're tellin' me. And I'm still waiting to get paid more than $3.25 an hour.
Q: So, I see you like Star Wars by the look of your picture up there.
A: First of all, that's not my lightsaber. That's Mark's. He paid, like, $120 for that. All of my lightsabers are waaaaaaay less expensive than that. I'm talkin' the $6 toy ones at Walmart.
Q: So, you are saying that you do, in fact, own a lightsaber.
A: Well, yeah. But it's only for self-defense!
Q: What other dorky toys do you have at home?
A: A metric TON of Star Wars action figures and vehicles, including the Millenium Falcon and an AT-AT. I got a lot of Transformers, I think that's my favorite right now. I have a talking Dr. Evil, and a talking Sir Robin from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And I have Laser Tag.
Q: And despite all your dorkiness, I understand you've managed to attract a mate?
A: Oh, yes. I've even spawned with her. My daughter is named Leilani, she was born October 30th, 2003, so Halloween is a lot of fun now. She is a perfectly radical little girl, and I don't want to start anything with anyone I work with, but she is genetically superior to all other children.
Q: Oh, come on. You can't prove that your kid is genetically superior to everyone else's!
A: Yes I can. Or I could, but the government had to go and classify those documents and studies. You know, national security and all that.
Q: You are one strange character.
A: And it's taken this long for you to realize that?
Q: Could you lay down some phat rhymez for us?
A: Rollin down da street in my Ford Explora
Ladies step up cuz dey gotta holla
Checkin all my ice it's plain to see
There's nobody like the man J. P.
Q: Good lord, that was awful.
A: Yes. Well. I am quite caucasian.
Q: Favorite movies?
A: Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, obviously. Also love Napoleon Dynamite, Aliens, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, and pretty much anything involving Kevin Smith.
Q: TV shows?
A: Alias, Lost, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Q: Books?
A: A Brief History of Time, by Steven Hawking.
Q: Songs you like to sing along with falsetto style?
A: Lonely by Akon, We Belong Together by Mariah Carey, Some Cut by Trillville.
Q: How many times have you been confused with Ryan Seacrest in public?
A: Just once.
Q: What's your favorite game you host on Z96?
A: Geeky 80's Trivia. I'll give you three guesses as to why.
Q: What can people expect to see if they click the webcam during your shift?
A: Me doing the robot. A LOT.
Q: Who's your favorite fellow staff member?
A: Erica Kay because I think she's the only one who's not in some position of authority and can't just fire me on the spot.
Q: Do you like to recieve email from your listeners?
A: Ohhhhhhhh yes. It makes me feel all soft and gooey inside. Even if it's hate mail, I don't discriminate.
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